How to talk with kids about school shootings and other traumatic events

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How to talk with kids about school shootings and other traumatic events

2024-09-06 21:57 Last Updated At：22:00

Mass shootings have effects on communities that are felt long after the day's tragedy. School shootings in particular can have physical, emotional and behavioral effects on kids — even if the shooting occurred on the other side of the country.

Exposure to school shootings, even if indirectly, is shown to disrupt people’s sense of safety and stability, said Sonali Rajan, professor at Columbia University, who studies firearm-related harms on children.

Talking about it can help.

Parents aren't alone in this task. Many health experts, including psychologists and grief counselors, remind people there are resources to support students’ mental and emotional health as they grieve and process.

Here's how they say families should address traumatic experiences with their kids.

It takes time to process emotions, regardless of age, so adults should start by taking care of themselves. That said, experts encourage parents to have conversations with their children and not avoid the topic, if kids indicate a willingness to talk about it.

“If they are not hearing about it from you as their parent, they will hear about it from their friends at school,” says Emilie Ney, director of professional development at the National Association of School Psychologists.

It's OK for caregivers to say they don’t have all the answers and not force the conversation, according to guidance from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network. Being available and patient is key.

This isn't just a job for parents and guardians. All adults should remember to be available for the kids in their life. After all, not all children have trusted adults they can speak with, said Crystal Garrant, chief program officer at Sandy Hook Promise, a nonprofit group that works to prevent suicides and mass shootings.

For instance, she said, adults who work in before-school or after-school programs should ask the kids in their care open-ended questions, do community-building activities or provide kids with other opportunities to share openly. They may not have the opportunity to do so otherwise.

How much children are able to understand a situation will depend on their age and development, Ney said.

“There is no specific age target for these conversations,” said Garrant, who has a 9-year-old daughter. “But make sure that younger children understand the word that you’re using. When we say safety, what does it mean to feel safe? How does it feel in your body? What does it sound like when you’re not safe?”

Some children may have emotional and behavioral responses to traumatic events, such as anxiety, nightmares or difficulty concentrating.

Younger children need simple information and reassurances their schools and homes are safe, guidance from the National Association of School Psychologists notes. Older children have a deeper capacity for understanding and could benefit from hearing about what agency they might have to keep themselves safe.

Recognizing, acknowledging and validating children's emotions are key, said Beverly Warnock, executive director of the National Organization of Parents of Murdered Children based in Cincinnati.

“You need to get those feelings out and be honest," she said. "Don’t try to squash the feelings or not talk about it. It’s something that will be with you for the rest of your life.”

The process of navigating emotions after a shooting can be confusing and frustrating for people, Ney said.

“The stages of grief are not necessarily sequential. People may go in and out of the various different phases, and it may be that it doesn’t really hit someone until a week later," Ney said.

Psychologists hope to reassure people their feelings are normal and they don't have to pretend they are unaffected.

“Even if you didn’t know anyone involved, even if they were very far away from you, it is okay to grieve,” Ney said. “It shows that you care about others.”

After acknowledging the emotional response, Warnock said, there is comfort in knowing life goes on.

“You will find a coping skill, and you will be able to enjoy life again,” she said. “You may not feel that way now, but it does happen. It’s just going to take some time."

If you or someone you know are experiencing distress because of a mass shooting, you can call the 24/7 National Disaster Distress Helpline. The number is 1-800-985-5990, and Spanish speakers can press “2” for bilingual support. To connect directly to a crisis counselor in American Sign Language, call 1-800-985-5990 from your videophone.

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'Shogun' and 'Hacks' win top series Emmy Awards and 'The Bear' and 'Baby Reindeer' take 4 apiece

2024-09-16 13:05 Last Updated At：13:11

LOS ANGELES (AP) — “Shogun” had historic wins in an epic 18-Emmy first season, “Hacks” scored an upset for best comedy on what was still a four-trophy night for “The Bear,” and “Baby Reindeer” had a holiday at an Emmy Awards that had some surprising swerves.

“Shogun," the FX series about power struggles in feudal Japan, won best drama series, Hiroyuki Sanada won best actor in a drama, and Anna Sawai won best actress. Sanada was the first Japanese actor to win an Emmy. Sawai became the second just moments later.

”‘Shogun’ taught me when we work together, we can make miracles,” Sanada said in his acceptance speech from the stage of the Peacock Theater in Los Angeles.

Along with 14 Emmys it claimed at the precursor Creative Arts Emmys, it had an unmatched performance with 18 overall for one season.

“Hacks” was the surprise winner of its first best comedy series award, topping “The Bear,” which most had expected to take it after big wins earlier in the evening.

Jean Smart won her third best actress in a comedy award for the third season of Max's “Hacks,” in which her stand-up comic character Deborah Vance tries to make it in late-night TV. Smart has six Emmys overall.

Despite losing out on the night's biggest comedy prize after winning it for its first season at January's strike-delayed ceremony, FX's “The Bear” star Jeremy Allen White won best actor in a comedy for the second straight year, and Ebon Moss-Bachrach repeated as best supporting actor.

And Liza Colón-Zayas was the surprise best supporting actor winner over competition that included Meryl Streep, becoming the first Latina to win in the category.

“To all the Latinas who are looking at me,” she said, her eyes welling with tears. “keep believing, and vote.”

Netflix’s darkly quirky “Baby Reindeer” won best limited series. Creator and star Richard Gadd won for his lead acting and his writing and Jessica Gunning, who plays his tormentor, won best supporting actress.

Accepting the series award, Gadd urged the makers of television to take chances.

“The only constant across any success in television is good storytelling," he said. "Good storytelling that speaks to our times. So take risks, push boundaries. Explore the uncomfortable. Dare to fail in order to achieve.”

“Baby Reindeer” is based on a one man-stage show in which Gadd describes being sexually abused along with other emotional struggles.

Accepting that award, he said, “no matter how bad it gets, it always gets better.”

The Associated Press does not typically name people who say they have been sexually abused unless they come forward publicly as Gadd has.

Jodie Foster won her first Emmy to go with her two Oscars when she took best actress in a limited series for “True Detective: Night Country.”

Foster played a salty police chief investigating a mass killing in the round-the-clock dark of an Alaskan winter on the HBO show. While her castmate Kali Reis missed out on becoming the first Indigenous actor to win an Emmy in the supporting category, Foster praised her, and the show's collaboration with Indigenous contributors.

“The Inupiaq and Inuit people of northern Alaska who told us their stories, and they allowed us to listen," Foster said. "That was just a blessing. It was love, love, love, and when you feel that, something amazing happens.”

Greg Berlanti, a producer and writer on shows including “Dawson's Creek” and “Everwood,” received the Television Academy's Governors Award for his career-long contributions to improving LGBTQ visibility on television. He talked about a childhood when there was little such visibility.

“There wasn’t a lot of gay characters on television back then, and I was a closeted gay kid," Berlanti said. "It’s hard to describe how lonely that was at the time,”

The long decline of traditional broadcast TV at the Emmys continued, with zero wins between the four broadcast networks.

In the monologue that opened the ABC telecast, Dan Levy, who hosted with his father and “Schitt's Creek” co-star Eugene Levy, called the Emmys “broadcast TV’s biggest night for honoring movie stars on streaming services.”

Though other than Foster, movie stars didn't fare too well. Her fellow Oscar winners Streep and Robert Downey Jr. had been among the favorites, but came up empty.

“Robert Downey Jr. I have a poster of you in my house!” said Lamorne Morris, who beat Downey for best supporting actor in a limited series, said from the stage as he accepted his first Emmy.

The evening managed to meet many expectations but included several swerves like the win for “Hacks.”

“We were really shocked,” “Hacks co-creator Jen Statsky, who also won for writing, said after the show. ”We were truly, really surprised."

And “Shogun” got off to a quiet start, missing on early awards and not getting its first trophy until past the halfway point.

Still, it shattered the record for Emmys for one season previously held by the 2008 limited series “John Adams” in 2008. And its acting wins would have been hard to imagine before the series became an acclaimed phenomenon.

Sanada is a 63-year-old longtime screen star whose name is little known outside Japan, even if his face is through Hollywood films like “The Last Samurai” and “John Wick Chapter 4.” Sawai, 32, who was born in New Zealand and moved to Japan as a child, is significantly less known in the U.S. She wept when she accepted best actress.

"When you saw me cry on stage, it was probably the 12th time I cried today," Sawai said backstage. “It was just mixed emotions, wanting everyone to win all that. I may cry again now.”

“The Bear” would finish second with 11 overall Emmys, including guest acting wins at the Creative Arts ceremony for Jamie Lee Curtis and Jon Bernthal.

The Levys in their opening monologue mocked the show being in the comedy category.

“In honor of ‘The Bear’ we will be making no jokes,” Eugene Levy said, to laughs.

Elizabeth Debicki took best supporting actress in a drama for playing Princess Diana at the end of her life in the sixth and final season of “The Crown.”

“Playing this part, based on this unparalleled, incredible human being, has been my great privilege," Debicki said in her acceptance. "It’s been a gift.”

Several awards were presented by themed teams from TV history, including sitcom dads George Lopez, Damon Wayans and Jesse Tyler Ferguson and TV moms Meredith Baxter, Connie Britton, and Susan Kelechi Watson.

For more on this year’s Emmy Awards, visit: https://apnews.com/hub/emmy-awards