AP PHOTOS: This couple's divided on politics, but glued together by love

They were arguing about abortion.

It was on Interstate 74, driving past the endless cornfields of rural Illinois, when Lesley Dzik realized she’d been raising her voice at her husband, Matt. She stopped, and suggested they drop the topic. He agreed, and quiet settled into the cabin of the pickup truck.

“I love you,” they told each other, and the hands that had been gesturing to articulate their opposing views collapsed into each other on the center console.

The Dziks have navigated issues common to so many marriages, from parenting to money.

But politics? That’s complicated.

Lesley, 56, is a Republican. Matt, 68, is a Democrat. She is anti-abortion. Matt believes women should have the choice. She refused to be vaccinated during the pandemic. He got the shots.

When they started dating, all it took was the sight of Democratic lawn signs outside his house ahead of the 2020 election to make her question if their relationship could work.

But they both wanted it to work. Lesley read books by other politically divided couples for inspiration and eventually came across Braver Angels, a nonprofit started by a therapist after former President Donald Trump’s 2016 election to help people bridge the political divide. They found a community there that is both red and blue.

“It gave me enough hope,” said Lesley. “I felt safe, I’m not alone.”

They seem, in so many ways, the ideal couple. Matt, who is retired, routinely brings flowers home for her. She helps him with handy-man jobs he does for people who can’t afford professionals. He drives her to the library at the University of Illinois where she works. They volunteer together at a local theater so they can see shows for free.

Lesley is deeply Christian. Matt, an Army veteran, was raised Catholic, but now sees himself as more spiritual than religious.

“I get worried with Matt because I believe the Bible is truth and Matt is iffy about that,” she said. “I wonder what I got myself into.”

But they attend church regularly and when they pray, they hold each other.

Acts of kindness bring them together, whether helping a man who uses a wheelchair get to church or caring for a nonverbal boy so his parents can go out and his mother can work. But their political differences seem to worsen before presidential elections.

At times, things get so heated, they don’t speak for days.

A suggestion from their therapist that has helped them navigate their insecurities hangs on the refrigerator door. “Can I give you a hug?” it reads. “If no, then say, ‘I love you. You don’t suck. I’ll come back in ten minutes.’”

At Braver Angel workshops they’ve learned some techniques to keep political talk civil. Speak to understand, one rule says, don’t speak to win.

Their need for one another is too great to avoid the discomforts of their many disagreements.

“We share the same heart,” said Lesley.

“I love looking in her eyes and seeing her smile,” said Matt. “Why would I want to lose that?

They’ve found things they can agree on, like putting up a flagpole in their front yard and flying the American flag.

“It’s much more inspiring than any yard sign will ever be for me," she said. "It’s more enduring.”

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This story has been amended to clarify that the mother of a non-verbal boy is not a single mother.

Matt Dzik, right, embraces his wife, Lesley, as he greets her after waking up in Champaign, Ill., Saturday, Sept. 21, 2024. Their need for one another is too great to avoid the discomforts of their many disagreements. "We share the same heart," said Lesley. "I love looking in her eyes and seeing her smile," said Matt. "Why would I want to lose that? (AP Photo/David Goldman)

A message decorates the wall behind Lesley, left, and Matt Dzik, as they read the Bible at their home in Champaign, Ill., Sunday, Sept. 22, 2024. When they came across Braver Angels, a nonprofit that helps people bridge the political divide, they found a community there that is both red and blue. "It gave me enough hope," said Lesley. "I felt safe, I'm not alone." (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Lesley, left, and Matt Dzik, stand in their backyard in Champaign, Ill., Friday, Sept. 20, 2024. When they started dating, all it took was the sight of Democratic lawn signs outside his house ahead of the 2020 election to make her question if their relationship could work. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Lesley Dzik looks out her kitchen window, in Champaign, Ill., Saturday, Sept. 21, 2024. Lesley is deeply Christian. Matt, her husband sees himself as more spiritual than religious. "I get worried with Matt because I believe the Bible is truth and Matt is iffy about that," she said. "I wonder what I got myself into." (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Lesley, left, and Matt Dzik, pose for a portrait in Urbana, Ill., Sunday, Sept. 22, 2024. Lesley, a Republican, and Matt, a Democrat, have navigated issues common to so many marriages, from parenting to money. But politics? That's complicated. But love overcomes political differences for this couple. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

A sign encouraging voting sits behind Lesley Dzik, left, and her husband, Matt, in the lobby of The Station Theatre as they volunteer as ushers during a performance of "POTUS: Or, Behind Every Great Dumbass Are Seven Women Trying to Keep Him Alive," in Urbana, Ill., Saturday, Sept. 21, 2024. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Matt Dzik talks to his son on the phone outside The Station Theatre while volunteering as an usher during a performance in Urbana, Ill., Saturday, Sept. 21, 2024. Matt and his wife, Lesley, who enjoy going to concerts and shows, volunteer together at the local theater so they can see the productions for free. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Matt, left, and Lesley Dzik, talk during intermission in the lobby of The Station Theatre while volunteering as ushers during a performance of "POTUS: Or, Behind Every Great Dumbass Are Seven Women Trying to Keep Him Alive," in Urbana, Ill., Saturday, Sept. 21, 2024. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Lesley, right, and Matt Dzik, hold hands as they pray after reading the Bible, Sunday, Sept. 22, 2024, at their home in Champaign, Ill. The couple attend church regularly and when they pray, they hold each other. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Matt, left, and Lesley Dzik transport Richard Wellbank to services at The Vineyard Church in Urbana, Ill., Sunday, Sept. 22, 2024. The couple have both been caregivers to Wellbank who has cerebral palsy and whom they bring to church on occasion from his assisted living facility. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Husband and wife, Lesley, left, and Matt Dzik, argue about abortion as they drive through Champaign County, Ill., Saturday, Sept. 21, 2024. Sometimes for the Dziks knowing when to end the conversation is more important than winning it. “He’s not good at stopping but I’m getting better at walking away,” said Lesley. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Attendees from across the political spectrum listen to a Braver Angels lecture on depolarization at the Rogers Free Library in Bristol, R.I., Thursday, Sept. 12, 2024. The non-profit organization holds workshops and mock debates across the country to help opposing political viewpoints communicate and understand each other's positions. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Lesley Dzik pulls up an online workshop by Braver Angels, a non-profit that helps people bridge the political divide, to show her husband, Matt, at their home in Champaign, Ill., Sunday, Sept. 22, 2024. At Braver Angel workshops they've learned some techniques to keep political talk civil. Speak to understand, one rule says, don't speak to win. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Lesley, left, and Matt Dzik, watch a seminary studies presentation by Lesley's son on a laptop in their home in Champaign, Ill., Friday, Sept. 20, 2024. When they started dating, all it took was the sight of Democratic lawn signs outside Matt's house ahead of the 2020 election to make Lesley question if their relationship could work. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Lesley Dzik, left, helps her husband, Matt, place a sheet of plywood at a renovation job he's doing for a fellow church member in Urbana, Ill., Saturday, Sept. 21, 2024. Acts of kindness bring them together and Matt often does handy-man jobs to help people who can't afford professionals. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

An American flag flies outside the home Matt Dzik shares with his wife, Lesley, in Champaign, Ill., Saturday, Sept. 21, 2024. "The country is flawed but it's a national symbol that transcends all our differences," said Matt. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Matt Dzik, right, drops his wife, Lesley, off at work at the engineering library at the University of Illinois in Urbana, Ill., Sunday, Sept. 22, 2024. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

A chart and clothespins with their names hangs on the refrigerator of Lesley and Matt Dzik as a communication tool to help express their feelings, in Champaign, Ill., Saturday, Sept. 21, 2024. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Matt Dzik, left, and his wife Lesley, discuss their plans for the day at their kitchen table in Champaign, Ill., Saturday, Sept. 21, 2024. The couple's political differences seem to worsen before presidential elections. At times, things get so heated, they don't speak for days. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Lesley Dzik, left, and her husband, Matt, embrace each other while praying with Richard Wellbank at The Vineyard Church in Urbana, Ill., Sunday, Sept. 22, 2024. Lesley, a Republican, and Matt, a Democrat, have navigated issues common to so many marriages, from parenting to money. But politics? That's complicated. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

LONDON (AP) — A car-ramming at a Christmas market in Germany, which police are treating as an attack, is the latest in a grim series of events in which vehicles have been used as deadly weapons.

There have been a spate of such attacks over the past decade, some committed by groups but most by individuals. The motives – where they could be established – have varied widely. Some were inspired by Islamic militant groups such as al-Qaida and ISIS, which encouraged followers to carry out low-cost, low-tech attacks with cars and trucks. Others have been linked to mental illness, far-right extremism and online misogyny.

What law-enforcement authorities term “vehicle as a weapon attacks” have reshaped cities around the world, as planners erect concrete barriers around public spaces and build anti-vehicle obstacles into new developments.

Here are some major vehicle attacks:

MAGDEBURG, Germany, Dec. 20. 2024 — At least five people are killed and more than 200 injured when a car slams into a Christmas market in eastern Germany. The suspect, who was arrested, is a 50-year-old doctor originally from Saudi Arabia who had expressed anti-Muslim views and support for the far-right AFD party.

ZHUHAI, China, Nov. 11, 2024 — A 62-year-old driver rams his car into people exercising at a sports complex in southern China, killing 35 people in the country’s deadliest mass slaying in years. Authorities said the perpetrator was upset about his divorce but offered few other details.

LONDON, Ontario, June 6, 2021 — Four members of a Muslim family die when an attacker hits them with a pickup truck while they are out for a walk, in what Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau calls “a terrorist attack, motivated by hatred.” White nationalist attacker Nathaniel Veltman was sentenced to life in prison.

TORONTO, April 23, 2018 — A 25-year-old Canadian man, Alek Minassian, drives a rented van into mostly female pedestrians on Yonge St., the main thoroughfare in Toronto, killing 10 people and injuring 16. Minassian told police he belonged to the online “incel” community of sexually frustrated men.

NEW YORK, Oct. 31, 2017 — Sayfullo Saipov, an Islamic extremist from Uzbekistan, drives a pickup truck onto a popular New York City bike path, killing eight.

BARCELONA, Aug. 17, 2017 — A man driving a van slams into people on the Spanish city’s crowded Las Ramblas boulevard, killing 14 and injuring many others. Several members of the same cell carry out a similar vehicle attack in the nearby resort town of Cambrils before they are shot dead by police. The Islamic State group claimed responsibility.

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Virginia, Aug. 12, 2017 — During a “Unite the Right” rally, white supremacist James Alex Fields Jr. intentionally drives his car into a crowd of counter-protesters, killing one woman and injuring dozens of people.

LONDON: March 22, 2017 — British man Khalid Masood rams an SUV into people on Westminster Bridge, killing four, before stabbing to death a policeman guarding the Houses of Parliament nearby. He is shot dead. June 3, 2017 — three attackers drive a van at pedestrians on London Bridge before stabbing people in nearby Borough Market. Eight people are killed and the attackers shot dead by police. June 19, 2017 — Darren Osborne, a man radicalized by far-right ideas, drives a van at worshippers outside a mosque in London’s Finsbury Park area, killing one man and injuring 15 people.

MELBOURNE, Australia, Jan 20, 2017 – Six people are killed and more than 30 injured when a car hits lunchtime crowds at a pedestrian mall in Australia’s second-largest city. Perpetrator James Gargasoulas is found to have been in a state of drug-induced psychosis.

BERLIN, December 19, 2016 — Anis Amri, a rejected asylum-seeker from Tunisia, plows a hijacked truck into a Christmas market in the German capital, killing 13 people and injuring dozens. The attacker is killed days later in a shootout in Italy.

NICE, France, July 14, 2016 — Tunisian-born French resident Mohamed Lahouaiej-Bouhlel drives a rented truck for more than a mile (almost 2 kilometers) along a packed seaside promenade in the French Riviera resort on the Bastille Day holiday, killing 86 people in the deadliest attack of its kind.

APELDOORN, Netherlands, April 28, 2009 – Former security guard Karst Tates drives a car into parade spectators in an attempt to hit an open-topped bus carrying members of the Dutch royal family. Six people are killed and Tates dies of injuries the next day, leaving his full motive a mystery.

CHAPEL HILL, North Carolina, March 3, 2006 — University of North Carolina graduate Mohammed Taheri-Azar drives an SUV into a crowd at the university, lightly injuring nine people, in a self-professed bid to avenge Muslim deaths overseas.

FILE - Injured people are treated in Barcelona, Spain, Thursday, Aug. 17, 2017 after a white van jumped the sidewalk in the historic Las Ramblas district, crashing into a summer crowd of residents and tourists. (AP Photo/Oriol Duran, File)

FILE - In this April 23, 2018, file photo, police stand near a damaged van after a van mounted a sidewalk crashing into pedestrians in Toronto. (Aaron Vincent Elkaim/The Canadian Press via AP, File)

FILE - Forensic officers move the van at Finsbury Park in north London, where a vehicle struck pedestrians in north London Monday, June 19, 2017. (AP Photo/Frank Augstein, File)

FILE - In this Dec. 20, 2016 file photo the trailer of a truck stands beside destroyed Christmas market huts in Berlin, Germany. (AP Photo/Markus Schreiber, file)

FILE - In this July 14, 2016 file photo, authorities investigate a truck after it plowed through Bastille Day revelers in the French resort city of Nice, France, killing 86 people. (Sasha Goldsmith via AP, File)

FILE - In this Wednesday, March 22, 2017 file photo, police secure the area on the south side of Westminster Bridge close to the Houses of Parliament in London. (AP Photo/Matt Dunham, File)

FILE - People fly into the air as a vehicle drives into a group of protesters demonstrating against a white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Va., Saturday, Aug. 12, 2017. (Ryan M. Kelly/The Daily Progress via AP, File)

FILE - In this Dec. 20, 2016 file photo Christmas decoration sticks in the smashed window of the cabin of a truck which ran into a crowded Christmas market Monday evening killing several people in Berlin, Germany. (AP Photo/Markus Schreiber, file)