Dr. Ruth Westheimer, America’s diminutive and pioneering sex therapist, dies at 96

NEW YORK (AP) — Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the diminutive sex therapist who became a pop icon, media star and bestselling author through her frank talk about once-taboo bedroom topics, has died. She was 96.

Westheimer died Friday at her home in New York City, surrounded by her family, according to publicist and friend Pierre Lehu.

Westheimer never advocated risky sexual behavior. Instead, she encouraged open dialogue on previously closeted issues that affected her audience of millions. Her one recurring theme was there was nothing to be ashamed of.

“I still hold old-fashioned values, and I'm a bit of a square,” she told students at Michigan City High School in 2002. “Sex is a private art and a private matter. But still, it is a subject we must talk about.”

Westheimer's giggly, German-accented voice, coupled with her 4-foot-7 frame, made her an unlikely looking — and sounding — outlet for “sexual literacy.” The contradiction was one of the keys to her success.

But it was her extensive knowledge and training, coupled with her humorous, nonjudgmental manner, that catapulted her local radio program, “Sexually Speaking,” into the national spotlight in the early 1980s. She had an open approach to what two consenting adults did in the privacy of their home.

“Tell him you’re not going to initiate,” she told a concerned caller in June 1982. “Tell him that Dr. Westheimer said that you’re not going to die if he doesn’t have sex for one week.”

Her radio success opened new doors, and in 1983 she wrote the first of more than 40 books: “Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Good Sex,” demystifying sex with both rationality and humor. There was even a board game, Dr. Ruth’s Game of Good Sex.

She soon became a regular on the late-night television talk-show circuit, bringing her personality to the national stage. Her rise coincided with the early days of the AIDS epidemic, when frank sexual talk became a necessity.

“If we could bring about talking about sexual activity the way we talk about diet — the way we talk about food — without it having this kind of connotation that there’s something not right about it, then we would be a step further. But we have to do it with good taste,” she told Johnny Carson in 1982.

She normalized the use of words like “penis” and “vagina” on radio and TV, aided by her Jewish grandmotherly accent, which The Wall Street Journal once said was “a cross between Henry Kissinger and Minnie Mouse.” People magazine included her in its list of “The Most Intriguing People of the Century.” She even made it into a Shania Twain song: “No, I don’t need proof to show me the truth/Not even Dr. Ruth is gonna tell me how I feel.”

Westheimer defended abortion rights, suggested older people have sex after a good night’s sleep, and was an outspoken advocate of condom use. She believed in monogamy.

In the 1980s, she stood up for gay men at the height of the AIDS epidemic and spoke out loudly for the LGBTQ+ community. She said she defended people deemed by some far-right Christians to be “subhuman” because of her own past.

Born Karola Ruth Siegel in Frankfurt, Germany, in 1928, she was an only child. At 10, she was sent by her parents to Switzerland to escape Kristallnacht — the Nazis’ 1938 pogrom that served as a precursor to the Holocaust. She never saw her parents again; Westheimer believed they were killed in the gas chambers at Auschwitz.

At age 16, she moved to Palestine and joined the Haganah, the underground movement for Israeli independence. She was trained as a sniper, although she said she never shot at anyone.

Her legs were severely wounded when a bomb exploded in her dormitory, killing many of her friends. She said it was only through the work of a “superb” surgeon that she could walk and ski again.

In 1961, after a second divorce, she finally met her life partner: Manfred Westheimer, a fellow refugee from Nazi Germany. The couple married and had a son, Joel. They remained wed for 36 years until Fred, as she called him, died of heart failure in 1997.

In 1984, her radio program was nationally syndicated. A year later, she debuted in her own television program, “The Dr. Ruth Show,” which went on to win an Ace Award for excellence in cable television.

She also wrote a nationally syndicated advice column and later appeared in a line of videos produced by Playboy, preaching the virtues of open sexual discourse and good sex. She even had a series of calendars.

Her rise was noteworthy for the culture of the time, when President Ronald Reagan’s administration was hostile to Planned Parenthood and aligned with conservative voices.

Phyllis Schlafly, a staunch antifeminist, wrote in a 1999 piece called “The Dangers of Sex Education” that Westheimer, as well as Gloria Steinem, Anita Hill, Madonna, Ellen DeGeneres and others, were promoting “provocative sex chatter” and “rampant immorality.”

Westheimer's books include “Sex for Dummies” and her autobiographical works “All in a Lifetime” (1987) and “Musically Speaking: A Life Through Song” (2003). The documentary “Ask Dr. Ruth” aired in 2019, and a new book, "The Joy of Connections," is due in October.

Survivors include two children, Joel and Miriam, and four grandchildren.

FILE - Dr. Ruth Westheimer, foreground center, watches President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama at the Western Inaugural Ball in Washington, Tuesday, Jan. 20, 2009. Westheimer, the sex therapist who became a pop icon, media star and best-selling author through her frank talk about once-taboo bedroom topics, died on Friday, July 12, 2024. She was 96. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais, File)

FILE - New Penthouse Pet of the Year Ginger Miller, left, of Los Angeles, talks with sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer, both embraced by Penthouse publisher Bob Guccione at a party in Miller's honor in New York on Monday, Dec. 6, 1988. Westheimer, the sex therapist who became a pop icon, media star and best-selling author through her frank talk about once-taboo bedroom topics, died on Friday, July 12, 2024. She was 96. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert, File)

FILE - Dr. Ruth Westheimer signs a copy of her book "Sexually Speaking" in New York on April 26, 2012. (AP Photo/Richard Drew, File)

FILE - Talk show host Phil Donahue, center, poses with several other prominent television personalities after the taping of "Donahue: The 25th Anniversary," in New York, Oct. 1992. From left, Jenny Jones, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, Faith Daniels, Larry King, Donahue, Connie Chung, Maury Povich, Jerry Springer and Montel Williams. Westheimer, the sex therapist who became a pop icon, media star and best-selling author through her frank talk about once-taboo bedroom topics, died on Friday, July 12, 2024. She was 96. (AP Photo/Joe Major, File)

Dr. Ruth Westheimer holds a copy of her book "Sex for Dummies" at the International Frankfurt Book Fair 'Frankfurter Buchmesse' in Frankfurt, Germany, Thursday, Oct. 11, 2007. Westheimer, the sex therapist who became a pop icon, media star and best-selling author through her frank talk about once-taboo bedroom topics, died on Friday, July 12, 2024. She was 96. (AP Photo/Bernd Kammerer)

FILE - Sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer talks with rock singer Cyndi Lauper in New York, Jan. 17, 1985. Westheimer, the sex therapist who became a pop icon, media star and best-selling author through her frank talk about once-taboo bedroom topics, died on Friday, July 12, 2024. She was 96. (AP Photo/Nancy Kaye, File)

FILE - Dr. Ruth mingles at the Salesforce Music Lodge during the Sundance Film Festival on Saturday, Jan. 26, 2019, in Park City, Utah. Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the diminutive sex therapist who became a pop icon, media star and best-selling author through her frank talk about once-taboo bedroom topics, has died. She was 96. Westheimer died on Friday, July 2, 2024, at her home in New York City, surrounded by her family, according to publicist and friend Pierre Lehu. (Photo by Miles Mortensen/ Invision for The Salesforce Music Lodge/AP Images, File)

Dr. Ruth Westheimer, America’s diminutive and pioneering sex therapist, dies at 96

FILE - Dr. Ruth Westheimer participates in the "Ask Dr. Ruth" panel during the Hulu presentation at the Television Critics Association Winter Press Tour at The Langham Huntington, Monday, Feb. 11, 2019, in Pasadena, Calif. Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the diminutive sex therapist who became a pop icon, media star and best-selling author through her frank talk about once-taboo bedroom topics, has died. She was 96. Westheimer died on Friday, July 12, 2024, at her home in New York City, surrounded by her family, according to publicist and friend Pierre Lehu. (Photo by Willy Sanjuan/Invision/AP, File)

Dr. Ruth Westheimer, America’s diminutive and pioneering sex therapist, dies at 96

President Donald Trump remained defiant Monday as global markets continued plunging after his tariff announcement last week.

Trump has insisted his tariffs are necessary to rebalance global trade and rebuild domestic manufacturing. He's singled out China as “the biggest abuser of them all” and criticized Beijing for increasing its own tariffs in retaliation.

Here's the latest:

The stock market briefly spiked on a report that Kevin Hassett, a top White House economic adviser, said the president was considering a 90-day pause on tariffs.

The supposed remark from Hassett circulated on social media, but no one could pinpoint where it came from even as the market flashed from red to green.

Hassett had spoken to Fox News earlier in the morning, when he was asked about a potential pause. However, he was noncommittal.

“I think the president is going to decide what the president is going to decide,” he said.

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Vance’s mother, Beverly Aikins’ on Friday received a 10-year sobriety medallion in the Roosevelt Room at a ceremony with friends and family.

Vance described Aikins’ past drug addiction in his bestselling book “Hillbilly Elegy.”

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The dispute over tariffs has caused some fracturing within Trump’s political coalition.

Hedge fund manager Bill Ackman said the president was “launching a global economic war against the whole world at once” and urged him to “call a time out.”

“We are heading for a self-induced, economic nuclear winter,” he wrote on X on Sunday.

Top White House economic adviser Kevin Hassett told Fox News on Monday morning that Ackman should “ease off the rhetoric a little bit.”

Hassett said critics were exaggerating the impact of trade disputes and talk of an “economic nuclear winter” was “completely irresponsible rhetoric.”

The president showed no interest in changing course despite turmoil in global markets.

He said other countries had been “taking advantage of the Good OL’ USA” on international trade.

“Our past ‘leaders’ are to blame for allowing this, and so much else, to happen to our Country,” he wrote on Truth Social. “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”

Trump criticized China for increasing its own tariffs and “not acknowledging my warning for abusing countries not to retaliate.”

On a day when stock markets around the world dropped precipitously, Alabama Republican Party Chairman John Wahl led a celebration of the president whose global tariffs sparked the sell-off.

With no mention of the Wall Street roller coaster and global economic uncertainty, Wahl declared his state GOP’s “Trump Victory Dinner” — and the broader national moment — a triumph. And for anyone who rejects Trump, his agenda and the “America First” army that backs it all, Wahl had an offer: “The Alabama Republican Party will buy them a plane ticket to any country in the world they want to go to.”

Wahl’s audience — an assembly of lobbyists and donors, state lawmakers, local party officials and grassroots activists — laughed, applauded and sometimes roared throughout last week’s gala in downtown Birmingham.

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Trump said Sunday that he won’t back down on his sweeping tariffs on imports from most of the world unless countries even out their trade with the U.S.

Speaking to reporters aboard Air Force One, Trump said he didn’t want global markets to fall, but also that he wasn’t concerned about the massive sell-off either, adding, “sometimes you have to take medicine to fix something.”

His comments came as global financial markets appeared on track to continue sharp declines once trading resumes Monday, and after Trump’s aides sought to soothe market concerns by saying more than 50 nations had reached out about launching negotiations to lift the tariffs.

The higher rates are set to be collected beginning Wednesday. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said unfair trade practices are not “the kind of thing you can negotiate away in days or weeks.” The United States, he said, must see “what the countries offer and whether it’s believable.”

▶ Read more about the global impact of Trump’s tariffs

Pedestrian are reflected on a brokerage house's window as an electronic board displays shares trading index, in Beijing, Monday, April 7, 2025. (AP Photo/Andy Wong)

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President Donald Trump arrives at the White House on Marine One, Sunday, April 6, 2025, in Washington. (AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta)